19 things I’ve learned during COVID-19

In no particular order:

  • Aimee is awesome at Mastermind.
  • One bottle of wine can last 2 evenings. 4 bottles can last 3.
  • Ketchup kinda is a vegetable.
  • One bottle of whiskey can last 4 days, 2 bottles can last 5.
  • Spaghetti sauce works on pasta, ramen, squash, and pop tarts.
  • Gin is a vitamin.
  • Birthday cake Oreos are an abomination.
  • No matter what you do, someone will complain.
  • There is always another dandelion.
  • Dishwashers don’t.
  • Our bartenders are our friends and we miss them.
  • Most things in our house we never touch.
  • Communicating clearly is a skill.
  • I believe people act with good intentions. Even the morons. It’s a lie, but it feels better inside believing this.
  • Nightmares come from cats licking your feet as you sleep.
  • Clean and dirty are abstract states that flow across a transformative spectrum of being and have little relation to modern life.
  • Antiperspirant is pore glue.
  • People who are shitty during tough times should and will be eliminated from my life.
  • Uncertainty makes people fearful and thoughtless.
  • Some food lasts longer than I thought, some rots quickly in dramatic style.
  • Counting things is overrated.
  • Using puppets as bathroom attendants is more awkward than expected.
  • Our electrical circuits need to be re-balanced somehow.
  • Some people. Amirite?
  • Half-empty or half-full doesn’t matter if it’s milk. It’s all about timing.