Not even

I was a kid once, maybe even twice. But both were a long time ago, and neither was very fulfilling. Lots of time spent waiting for things to happen, waiting for my turn, finding something else to keep my mind occupied in the meantime. The waiting even became the event at times. Let’s see if I can hold my breath until the school bus comes. Can I hold my breath for the entire 45 minute ride to school? What if all day I only respond to human interaction with the sound ’meerp’, from sun up to sun down? I am from the planet meerp, you see, and this is how we communicate.

It was during this last project that I realized how infrequently anyone really cared to communicate with me. It seems the practice run conversations I had in my head all day weren’t what most would call ’real’. This was an important discovery. The idea that my view of self was different than everyone else’s was unexpected, and reinforced my belief that I was more perceptive than everyone else. I knew the truth of what was happening and who people really were. I was special. Unique. Gifted and talented.

Fortunately or not, in time, I grew up. I realized my powers of perception were not incredibly astute, my view of the world did not reveal the hidden thoughts and actions of truth, and most people saw me as pretty weird. Actually not weird. Over a few days, prompted by a middle manager minion of my nemesis hoard, several of my classes voted and decided I was odd. Not interesting enough to be weird. Just odd.

I was stunned. Deflated. Crushed even. I was odd? Not weird, interesting, confusing, deranged, concerningly unique? Just…odd. While I pondered this frustrating new label, one of many many labels they had attached to me through the years, I saw the deeper meaning. I saw the hidden truth the universe had slyly buried in their minds that they were not perceptive enough to see. All but one of the magical prime numbers are odd. Unique, yet inclusive. Half of all numbers are odd! I am infinite! I am legion! Once again, my enemies had failed in their attempt to restrain me. I could continue my life’s work of remaking the world to match my superior vision.

Side note: Fox News is not going to air the January 6 Insurrection congressional hearing. Odd.