The Very Best

[rant] I don’t need things to be ‘the ultimate best’, and I’m sick of all the freaking ads for the best socks, the best shoes ever made, the ultimate knife sharpener, the most amazing OMG you just HAVE TO HAVE these ultimate microfiber underwear, jeans, t-shirts, every freaking stupid little thing.

WTF? Someone is profiting from positioning mundane shit as luxury goods, and trying to make me feel like shit for not having the ultimate fucking comb? Screw you people. I don’t need your overpriced pretentious shit, and my life has enough going on that I’m not worried about if my socks don’t wick the last 2% of moisture off my gnarly feet. At this point I’m surprised I haven’t accidentally chopped one foot off somehow, and that’s about as much thought as I give them.

I don’t fault you for trying to make money off of stupid shit made for stupid people. Actually I do, you wanks. There are a ton of real fucking problems and needs you could be applying your talents to, and you have to hock a military grade titanium tie tack that will never accidentally unhook and  leave you with a floppity tie. Boo-hoo fuckwad nobody fucking cares about your tie and if they do and you get upset by it, reassess your priorities.

I get that everybody has their ‘thing’ and some people get annoyed by a lumpy sock texture, so sure buy whatever you want to make you happy. It doesn’t make you a better person and it’s all just shit that somebody  has to burn after you are dead. I also get that I’m a grumpy low-rent shit and you don’t care about my opinion. That’s why it’s here, and not in an ad promoted in between photos of your family. Have a great day with your ‘too sensitive for cotton’ taint. [/rant]

Have a great day and we’ll all get through this COVID crap together!