19 things I've learned during COVID-19

May 9, 2020 · Unthoughts

In no particular order:

• Aimee is awesome at Mastermind.
• One bottle of wine can last 2 evenings. 4 bottles can last 3.
• Ketchup kinda is a vegetable.
• One bottle of whiskey can last 4 days, 2 bottles can last 5.
• Spaghetti sauce works on pasta, ramen, squash, and pop tarts.
• Gin is a vitamin.
• Birthday cake Oreos are an abomination.
• No matter what you do, someone will complain.
• There is always another dandelion.
• Dishwashers don’t.
• Our bartenders are our friends and we miss them.
• Most things in our house we never touch.
• Communicating clearly is a skill.
• I believe people act with good intentions. Even the morons. It’s a lie, but it feels better inside believing this.
• Nightmares come from cats licking your feet as you sleep.
• Clean and dirty are abstract states that flow across a transformative spectrum of being and have little relation to modern life.
• Antiperspirant is pore glue.
• People who are shitty during tough times should and will be eliminated from my life.
• Uncertainty makes people fearful and thoughtless.
• Some food lasts longer than I thought, some rots quickly in dramatic style.
• Counting things is overrated.
• Using puppets as bathroom attendants is more awkward than expected.
• Our electrical circuits need to be re-balanced somehow.
• Some people. Amirite?
• Half-empty or half-full doesn't matter if it's milk. It's all about timing.